There once was a member of Crew who couldn’t seem to understand the concept of ‘chill.’ Teamwork just wasn’t this girl’s brand of ice cream. Showing respect? #forgetaboutit.
After a year and half of, “Please cut it out. You’re messing things up for everyone,” I finally booted her out of Crew – leaving her stunned. How could I boot out the star of her own show?
Soon afterward, one of her close friends whispered in my ear: “Lessia, sometimes you’re just too nice.” #Live and learn.
This big drama left me a pile of raw nerves, totally shell-shocked. I just couldn’t fathom this teen’s motivations. Why is she like that? Why make things uncomfortable, even for one’s friends?
What did I do with all my great big taking-me-over emotions? Well, lucky for me, I have assistants.
Poetry fairies came to my rescue, as they often do. I picked up a pen and wrote and wrote as they whispered a song in my ear. This may sound cheesy to you, but it’s exactly what songwriting feelings like to me. It’s as if the universe just hands me something beautiful, so I can gratefully say, “OMG, thank you!” It never feels as if I’m writing a song myself.
I stared down at the lyrics when I was done writing – and felt much better. They somehow outlined the situation for me. Those words on paper were much wiser than I’ll ever be!
Those of you who write a lot too are probably smiling, reading this. You know the feeling. It’s really like some kind of miracle – an amazing gift.
Special resonated big-time with my entire Crew, quickly becoming my teens’ favorite song to sing and perform. There was something so tender and relatable in it’s message – everyone having a personal story to attach. After all, it’s a song about wanting to understand another person. Who hasn’t been there?
We reap what we sow in this life
do what we do to survive
with everyone thinkin’ they’re right…
The night of our first Special performance, the girl it was about snuck into our venue, pulled her friends aside, and told them, “If you’re really my friends, you’ll refuse to sing!”
Her friends didn’t waver. “Hello? We didn’t even realize Special was about you. No one knows! We love the song – we’re singing it. Don’t spoil our night.”
A Song is Born
I felt compelled to share this story because it’s so unusual. I also share this experience in order to encourage other adults to take-no-prisoners and gently hold the line if anyone in their batch of kids is ever spoiling things for all. Too often, we get caught up in the moment, trying to be ‘nice.’ But remember what this girl’s friend told me? “You were being too nice.”
Her friend taught me a thing or two. And I have never forgotten that lesson; We can’t help those under our care learn to use their voices wisely if we don’t use our own in a mindful way. We set the bar.
Lessons abound for us all in trying situations. And with that, here’s one last suggestion I’d like to make…
If you ever get upset or confused about a situation, I strongly suggest scribbling yourself out some lyrics, since they very well may end up handing you a clue. Art is powerful that way – it can make order out of chaos, organizing our brains a bit so emotions don’t turn us into toast.
You don’t have to write a perfect song, just write something that helps you dive deeper. Wouldn’t it be awesome to uncover little insights and wisdoms inside of you? Take a breath, feel your feelings, then right a song. Who knows. It may just come out rather ‘special.’ It doesn’t really matter if you believe in fairies. You just have to believe in yourself.